i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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