Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
