Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
