I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
