i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
