we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize