Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
