I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
