he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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