the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
