My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
