the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
