Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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