When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
