Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize