i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
there is glitter all over my balls
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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