dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well I just put wine in my tea
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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