3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Yo dont text me then not text me
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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