He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
honey bunches of taint.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize