Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize