Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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