She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
