This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
