just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
