We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
