ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
