he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
