hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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