I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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