brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
