Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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