my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
