his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
