i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
