i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
