This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
honey bunches of taint.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We talked him into tasing himself.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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