your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
