no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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