pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize