I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
this beer tastes like vomit already
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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