I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
