I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
