boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
