I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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