We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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