Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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