You really coming over, don't trick.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
