whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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