since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
