barbara walters just said penis...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize