I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
