I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
