did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
