This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I showed him my bush... on skype.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
