it was like his penis was on wheels.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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