i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
