I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just found puke in my bra..
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woke up backwards on a recliner
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
