I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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