I wish i was in the wii world.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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