The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize