We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
